What am I doing here?

For one day I didn’t post. For one day I broke post a day in May and then found it hard to start again.

It was a Sunday. Sad things happened to people around me. Good things did too. God did a lot, spoke a lot. By the end of the day though I couldn’t string two sentences together. Brain fried, body exhausted.

And since…

I faltered when I tried to start again. A mental battle ensued. What am I doing here? Not here as in our physical location, I’m sure of our reasons to be in Canada, but here as in writing.

I started writing this blog following our big move across the pond. There’s a lot to talk about when moving countries and less of the new as time goes on. Also, I was thinking/dreaming of starting a baking business. I let the dream go a while ago as we don’t have the space and finance to build a separate kitchen to comply with Public Health requirements – among other reasons.

So I write about our life here, a bit about baking and a lot about life with Jesus. I’ve asked questions of myself over the last few days. The big ones are, ‘Should I keep writing?”Who am I writing for?’  In darker moments, ‘Who cares anyway?’ I know some do and I’m thankful for those who sent messages wondering what had happened to post a day in May.

There’s lots of advice out there about what to write to get readers. Write something controversial. Write concisely. Write consistently (oops). Write authentically. Share expertise. I get lost in those kind of posts on occasion, and come out the other side feeling inadequate and depressed. In terms of writing I’m inconsistent, but honest. Rarely concise. An expert? I think not. I’m always learning. I could write controversial. It’s possible I will one day. It’ll burst out of me. Up to now it’s not my style.

Am I writing for likes and approval alone? I hope not. I’d like my handful of readers, you, to keep reading. I like you to like my posts. I’d love to hear what you think about what I write – more. It is not the only reason for writing, though it does help. Honesty creeps through see.

Is this a baking blog? A life in Canada blog? A family life blog? A devotional blog? Should I concentrate on one of these? I haven’t come to a conclusion.

My life is small. It’s not dramatic or impressive. It’s not a story of amazing success by the world’s standards. I’m as average as it gets. I do have a story to tell though, still. What I most like to write is of the God I know who cares about the smallest of details in every seemingly insignificant life. He broke into mine. This changes everything.

And…I’m not finished and okay with the small part I play (most of the time). While I feel compelled, I’ll keep writing about my little slice of life and how God takes hold of it.

Who knows what will happen next?

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Debbie says:

    Love your postings, feels as though we’re in your life and great to hear all that’s going on. It’s great to hear someone be so honest, real and vunerable. It resonates with so many who get where you’re at. Wish we could all be so much more like that. It’s bonding and builds community and so much more. Love live live hearing from you all. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. emmskitchen says:

      Thanks Debbie!!

      Like

  2. Betty says:

    Emma I don’t have much to say. You do a great job all of the time, but I love reading your posts I only wish I could write. You have a gift so please keep writing because I love reading them!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ann Gallagher says:

    Emma, than you for writing. I just felt reminded of the phrase ‘Apples of gold’ and (thank you google!) searched the proverb. I kind of like The Message version, although not as poetic ‘The right word at the right time is like custom made jewellery’. (Prov 25:11). Love your ‘Jewellery Box’ blog. Please be encouraged.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. emmskitchen says:

      Thanks Ann for that encouragement. Those are lovely words of yours too. Thank you for reading!

      Like

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